And in many of these cases, the root of the problem is in your childhood.
There are studies that show that, since pregnancy, babies perceive sounds from outside, as well as maternal emotions. Being a mother is something wonderful, but there are many women who do not experience motherhood from this perspective. Sometimes many women develop baby rejection, postnatal depression, although in most cases it is usually temporary and these mothers end up fully living their motherhood.
We all associate motherhood with tenderness, dedication, patience, the purest love that can exist,... But, So why are there mothers who maintain harmful treatment with their children?
Some of these mothers may have also received bad treatments in his childhood and all learning What they did, they pass it on to their children.
Many of these women, in their childhood, repeated themselves ad nauseam, that they would never behave that way... Why do they do it? The answer is simple: because what they hated so much has become a automatic, unconscious behavior, since it was what they learned...
How does a toxic mother act?
1- As a rule, they are mothers controllers. They continually use the comparisons and the public humiliation as a control method. These women carry out unconscious way everything they used with them. In these cases, it is very likely that, if there is more than one child, the mother will focus her attention, affection and understanding on one of them, clearly showing her preference over others.
And in order to exercise its control, it needs to have "allies" To achieve this, he will use the dangerous and unfair weapon of the comparison. He will exalt one of his children, diminishing the worth of the other. Thus, you will get the allies to always be on your side, being able to exercise control without anyone questioning you.
2- The handling It is another of his strategies. The mother is always placed in victim role of the situation, thus managing to generate feelings of guilt in his son. This attitude is accentuated when the children reach adulthood and begin to make their own decisions.
3- These mothers always see their children as if they were children. Are not able to understand that these have grownThey are adults and they have the right to form their lives and make their decisions. These women seek to control all their decisions and the real danger comes when their children choose their partner or decide form his family. They will question the chosen person, they will disapprove of that decision, they will want to control the upbringing of their grandchildren,...
4- In cases in which the children suffer from an illness or disability, the situation becomes even more complicated because the mother constantly put in face to his son the care that he has had to dedicate throughout his life, the things that he has had to give up,…developing in his son a guilt unnecessary.
And it is that all this is very complicated and, in this maternal behavior, he hides learning that we have discussed and many fears: afraid to being alone, fear of abandonment,... Many women manage to get their children to separate from their partners and live with them forever, experiencing constant unhappiness.
Many others are not aware that it is precisely this attitude that they have, which leads them to the most feared: loneliness and abandonment of their children.
To solve this serious problem it is necessary recognize That need professional help. One has to cure all wounds that are open to prevent them from spreading to one's own children.
Likewise, it is recommended, to the extent possible, distance physical between the controlling parent and the child. If this is not possible, it will be necessary to use other skills and not assume that one type of dependency, in this case economic, requires assuming another.
If you think you may have this problem, please don't hesitate any longer, this is the moment: ask for professional help, don't argue, don't increase anger, frustration and pain... Let's try to do everything possible to break that circle of toxicity and don't repeat harmful behaviors...